Narm trauma therapy and life coaching

As children, our survival depends entirely on our caregivers. We rely on them to meet our fundamental needs and to provide us with security and connection. When these needs are not consistently met—when we are not seen, heard, or understood—it can overwhelm and frighten us as developing individuals. As children, we lack the understanding that these failures lie in our environment, not within ourselves.

To cope with the longing for safety and connection, we often internalize a belief that we are somehow at fault—that we are inherently bad, too much, or flawed in some way. This belief can lead us to develop adaptive strategies to disconnect from overwhelming feelings of rage, sadness, or despair. Alternatively, we may turn these emotions inward, directing them at ourselves and believing we are unworthy of love.

These adaptive strategies are crucial for surviving challenging experiences during childhood. However, as we grow from childhood into adulthood, we may become closely identified with these strategies and the accompanying behavioral patterns. Over time, we might begin to believe that these strategies define who we are.

In this process, the very strategies and fear-based beliefs that once protected us can become self-limiting and filled with self-judgment. They can disconnect us from our true, authentic selves, leaving us with a lingering sense of incompleteness or not fully being ourselves